I’m freaking out, I’m supposed to be looking at colleges, but I just don’t wanna think about any of this. 

I push you away because I’m scared for you to be close.

In the last week my life has done a complete 180 and I wish it was for the better. Honestly, it has changed the complete essence of who I am. I’m trying to be like I use to, but I don’t know how to. I’m so pissed and sad and frustrated I no longer have a handle on myself. It’s like I have to figure out ‘who I am’ all over again. I use to know deep in my bones who I was, but now it’s so questionable. I wish I could explain it to someone, but no one really get’s it. I’m trying to go on like nothing happened in my life, but it did. I just really hope I can get ‘better’ or happier.

ugh, haha.

the cr3w be ready. 

I don’t think i will be too happy about that. 

neither do my friends, but they cannot be trusted. 

i’m officially scared. and never drinking again.